FRANK ZAPPA-"Fembot In A Wet T-Shirt" LYRICS

[Act I]

[SCENE FIVE]

[THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST]

After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by

Toad-O's road crew, and being too exhausted to do

their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.

With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into

the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks

by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie...

[IKE:]

Looks to me like something funny

Is going on around here

People laughin' 'n' dancin' 'n' payin'

Entirely too much for their beer

And they all think they are

Clean outa-site

And they're ready to party

"Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE

'N' they all crave some Hot delight

Well the girls are excited

Because in a minute

They're gonna get wet

'N' the boys are delighted

Because all the titties

Will get 'em upset

'N' they all think they are Reety-awright

'N' they're ready to boogie

'Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE

'N' they all crave some Pink delight

When the water gets on'em

Their ninnies get rigid

'N' look pretty bold

It's a common reaction

That makes an attraction

Whenever it's cold

'N'all of the fellas

They wish they could bite

On the cute little nuggets

The local girls are showin' off tonite

You know I think it serves 'em right

You know I think it serves 'em right

You know I think it serves 'em right

You know I think it serves 'em right

And it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN

I know you want someone to show you some tit!

BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!

At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked

for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and

bought a groovy sport coot and moved to Miami and changed

his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand

in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE...

[BUDDY JONES:]

Ah, thanks, IKE...

Yes, it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN

Here at The Brasserie... Home of THE TITS... huh huh...

And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park

Up next in her bid for the semi-finals...

Hi,Mary...howya doin?

Having been fucked senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does

not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the

rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills