FRANK ZAPPA-"Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?" LYRICS

Honey honey

Baby don't you want a man like me

Honey honey

Baby don't you want a man like me

He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)

His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!"

He had an Irish Setter

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night

The moon was dim, the band was tight

They did the Bump together

What a splendid sight, her teeth were white

The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)

He was glad that he met her

She was an office girl (her name was Betty)

Her fav'rite group was HELEN REDDY

(They discussed the weather)

[CHORUS REPEAT]

She was a lonely sort, just a little too short

Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport

Was hockey (in the winter)

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest

Any sport with a PUCK had to be 'bout the best

As he jabbed his elbow in her (get it honey?)

Later on they went off to where the music was soft.

The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY

Who delivered their dinner

The rice was brown, and soon they found

That the crowd around that had jammed the room,

Well it seemed to be getting thinner

[CHORUS REPEAT]

He took her home to a motor court

She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it,

But it made him angry!

He called her a slut, a pig and a whore

A bitch and a cunt and she slammed the door

In a petulant frenzy!

On the sofa she weeps

BOO HOO HOO HOO

She weeps and she weeps

BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO

She weeps and she peeps

Through the curtain

He just got in his car

But the battery's dead

So he asks to use the phone

And she gives him some head

And that's the end of the story

[CHORUS REPEAT]