FRANK ZAPPA-"Dong Work For Yuda" LYRICS

[Act II]

[SCENE TWELVE]

[DONG WORK FOR YUDA]

[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:]

Hello there...this is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...

Joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all the

other criminals from the music business...you know...

the ones who get caught...it's a horrible place, painted

all green on the inside, where musicians and former executives

take turns snorting detergent and plooking each other...

(As the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER chuckles to himself for a moment,

FATHER RILEY, who became BUDDY JONES, steps into view in his

new identity: FATHER RILEY 8. JONES, Prison Chaplain, who, in a rather

heavy-handed piece of imagery, is now entrusted with the job of singing

this song as he assists the captured executives in their quest for new

meat to plook, and, once having found these victims for the princes of

the industry, trades them little blobs of sanctified lubricant jelly forcigarettes

and candy bars while he holds them down so the execs won't have to work

too hard when they stick it in.)

... Anyway, while he's in there he meets this guy who used to be

a promo man for a major record company, Bald-Headed John...

King of the Plookers...

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]

This is the story 'bout Bald-Headed John

[FORMER EXECS:]

Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]

He talks a lot 'n it's usually wrong

[FORMER EXECS:]

Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]

He said Dong was Wong,

'N Wong was Kong

'N Dong work for Yuda,

N John was wrong

[FORMER EXECS:]

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

Dong work for Yuda

Dong, Dong

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

He said Dong was Wong

And Wong was Kong

And Dong was Gong

'N John was wrong

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

John's got a sausage that will make you fart

John's got a sausage that will break your heart

Make you fart

And break your heart

Don't bend over if you are smart

He took a little walk to the weenie stand

Johns got a sausage

Yeh man

A great big weenie in both his hands

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

He sucked on the end 'til the mustard squirt

He said. "Ya'll stand back 'cause you might get hurt'

[FORMER EXECS:]

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

Johns got a sausage

Yeh man

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

He said Dong was Wong

Wong was Kong

Kong was Gong

'N" John was wrong

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]

Make way for the iron shaschige

[FORMER EXECS:]

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]

I need a dozen towels so the boys can take a shower

[FORMER EXECS:]

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]

Bartender, bring me a colada and milk

[FORMER EXECS:]

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]

On second thought, make that a water . . .