FRANK ZAPPA-"A Token Of My Extreme" LYRICS

[Act II]

[SCENE NINE]

[A TOKEN OF MY EXTREME]

Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedral / ware-house /

condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and

a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen...

[L. RON HOOVER:]

Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology!

The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only!

Don't you be

Tarot-fied

It's just a token of my extreme

Don't you be

Tarot-fied

It's just a token of my extreme

Don't you never try to look behind my eyes

You don t wanna know what they have seen

Don't you never try to look behind my eyes

You don't wanna know what they have seen

[JOE: (thinking to himself)]

Some people think

That if they go too far

They'll never get hack

To where the rest of them are

I might be crazy

But there's one thing I know

You might be surprised

At what you find when ya go!

And thus, having rationalized his expedition to L. Ron's modernistic office /

cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, JOE seeks The Answer to

his problem...

[JOE:]

Oh oh oh

Mystical Advisor

What is my problem, tell me

Can you see?

[L. RON HOOVER:]

Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!

You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist, It appears to me!

[JOE:]

That all seems very, very strange

I never craved a toaster

Or a color T. V.

[L. RON HOOVER:]

A Latent Appliance Fetishist

Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself

That sexual gratification can only be achieved

Through the use of MACHINES... Get the picture?

[JOE:]

Are you telling me

I should come out of the closet now Mr. Ron?

[L. RON HOOVER:]

No, my son!

You must go into THE CLOSET

And you will have

A lot of fun!

That's where they all live

So if you want an

Appliance to love you

You'll have to go in there

N' get you one

[JOE:]

Well...that seems simple enough...

[L. RON HOOVER:]

Yes, but if you want a really GOOD one,

You'll have to learn a foreign language...

[JOE:]

German, for instance?

[L. RON HOOVER:]

That's right...

A lot of really cute ones come from over there!

(Fifty bucks, please)

And a cheerful group of Appliantologists dance into the room wearing

aluminum foil lab smocks, lock arms in a circle around JOE, making

sure he pays in full, all the while singing with L. RON as he delivers

nis final instructions...

[L. RON HOOVER:]

If you been

Mod-O-fied,

It's an illusion,

an yer in between

Don't you be

Tarot-fied,

It's just a lot of nothin,'

So what can it mean?

If you been

Mod-O-fied,

It's an illusion,

an yer in between

Don't you be

Tarot-fied,

It's just a lot of nothin,

So what can it mean?

[etc., etc., etc.]

JOE leaves the First Church of Appliantology and sets out to try L. RON s expensive advice

[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:]

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe has just learned to speak

German Now, get this, heres why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on

the other side of town, it's called THE CLOSET...

And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up

like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so

Joe's learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees

these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he

sees this one...that looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum

cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body...

it's really exciting...and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG...